Since this covers a lot of things I can't talk to people I know in real life, I'm just floating it out into the internet ether.
My father-in-law passed away last Sunday. It wasn't altogether unexpected--he'd been fighting multiple myeloma (a bone cancer) for the last two and a half years, along with suffering from breathing complications from untreated scoliosis and an unset broken nose--it was just a lot faster than we expected. He'd been in the hospital the previous weekend, moved to the nursing home on Monday, hospice on Saturday and died Sunday night. The part of my brain that always has to write a more impressive story than reality kind of wonders if an angel of mercy was involved.
Friday was the funeral (my husband's side does not put the "fun" in funeral; no drinking, no dark, inappropriate humor, or exuberant bursts of appreciative laughter. Just quiet, sad, hushed talking. Very little celebrating at a "celebration of life.") I was trying my very hardest to stay appropriate. Since my husband is busy talking to people and being sad, I had my eyes on our toddler, when I'm approached by niece and her grandmother. For clarification, this is not my mother-in-law--I like my mil, she's a little dippy but she's lovable-- this is my sister-in-law's EX mother-in-law.
A few years ago, Ex-mil burst into sil's house when sil wasn't home and the dog bit her. I was feeling pretty tempted to bite her myself. My assessment of her was entitled; she struck me as the kind of person who would visit a sick person and then expect to be treated as a guest. With in minutes of meeting her, she asked my son's age. (He'll be three this spring.) She says, "You need to start working on another!"
Days later, I'm still furious about this. I caught myself before yelling, "What the F is wrong with you?!"
First and foremost, a man just died. My family is sad. It doesn't exactly inspire intimacy. Pay attention to your surroundings!
Second, lady, you don't know anything about me! You don't know if I've lost any pregnancies (one), my health (I almost died last pregnancy, I'm fat and I was going to physical therapy this summer), if I can actually HAVE more kids (my husband was seriously considering a vasectomy after last time), if we can financially handle another kid, (we can, but I'm finding more reasons to hate her) or even if we want more kids (I do. I want all the kids but my husband only wants two. If my liver shuts down like last pregnancy, I've been thinking of having a tubal litigation, though.) Don't tell me what to do with my own body and life! Know your audience and pay attention to your surroundings.
And third: I AM pregnant right now! My third trimester starts on Tuesday. Sure, I'm fat, but I'm wearing a belly band, can't consistently lift my toddler, and I waddle. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!!!!!! ****steam pours out of ears***
In her defense, (who am I kidding, there's no defending her) we haven't told our families yet specifically in case health issues came up. And because our families were turds last time, demanding to know what names we picked out, gender before we were ready to tell, yelling at me for buying anything baby related because THEY wanted to buy baby stuff--what point does it stop being generosity? (...generally being demanding and making it about them). So we're having a party to tell everyone on Sunday, at 28 weeks, 5 days (or about 79 days to go...I wanna be sedated!)
Welp, lots of negativity here.
I just handed my toddler an orange and he cuddled it against his face like a kitten. I guess I just need to let it go and be as appreciative of today as a toddler is of an orange.